013102

"let the good times all be gone away. it's time to make a space for new memories."

- knumbskulls

i had a rad skate session with jason today. we went all the way down to ward, and then skated up to the mckinley area. we were passing by jack in the box when i heard a guy yelling something at me.

"huh?" i was confused.

"buss 'em out, brah. show me your kickflips!"

"i'll try..." i said with a nervous laughter.

i kicked the ground... popped the board... slid my front foot up and flicked off the side...

the whole jack in the box parking lot was staring at me.

it was the longest two seconds of my life.

the board did a weird spin and landed on the ground.

i felt my feet land on the ground.

@#$%!

then we went through downtown. there were a group of guys waiting for the bus.

"sup," one of them said.

"hey," i said. i figured they were fellow skaters.

"can sample?"

"yeah." i handed him the board.

the guy dropped the board and then proceeded to do an impossible flip.

he stopped and walked over to me. "can try teach me some tricks?" he wasn't being sarcastic.

"um... you're better than me, dude!"

"for real? you guys aren't pro?"

"no." what gave him the impression that we were?

after that, jason and i hung out at our street, skating as all the prostitutes passed by. time flied by fast without the either of us realizing.

people were yelling shit at us too.

"playa!" some guy yelled.

"hey, sexy!" a lady said, poking her head out of the window of her truck.

"hiiii!" said one guy, waving his hands. i waved back.

people are weird.

013002
skaboy083: i still want to come back home...
skaboy083: it sucks here
skaboy083: it only gets worse every week
hnlpunk: the room got redecorated
skaboy083: how?
hnlpunk: haha
hnlpunk: your desk went kaput
hnlpunk: RIP
skaboy083: wow...
hnlpunk: you can still come home though
skaboy083: i think i might.
hnlpunk: either that or i want a puppy dog. i'm getting lonely.
skaboy083: haha
skaboy083: i want to go home though
skaboy083: i don't care if i don't fly
skaboy083: i'm going to fail...
hnlpunk: ...
skaboy083: i know...
skaboy083: i hate this...
hnlpunk: what ever you do...
hnlpunk: make the right decision
hnlpunk: don't regret
skaboy083: i will.
skaboy083: I was thinking...
skaboy083: about home. I took so much things for granted...
skaboy083: the thought that I get to leave with learning that much, it's great
skaboy083: i took a lot of things for granted
skaboy083: like the food on the table, the long hot shower, the big room...
skaboy083: i don't regret coming here though
skaboy083: i learned a lot
skaboy083: oh, and hawaii is a great place
skaboy083: i never ever wanna leave hawaii again
skaboy083: but yeah...it's messed up here around sundays
skaboy083: everyone goes to church and then i look around and eveyone is sleeping
hnlpunk: you goto church?
skaboy083: yeah, try to get far away from camp as possible
skaboy083: and outside the church, everyone is smoking
skaboy083: you know, when i am at church I feel at ease
skaboy083: i forget about all of my problems and troubles
hnlpunk: right on.
skaboy083: yeah
skaboy083: oh how i miss kua aina's
skaboy083: ......
skaboy083: can't wait to go off base on friday night
skaboy083: i want to find korean food
hnlpunk: i'll send you some kim chee.
skaboy083: haha
skaboy083: i miss kim chee
skaboy083: saimin
skaboy083: ...
skaboy083: how's the weather there?
skaboy083: I was listening to KPOI earlier
skaboy083: i heard it was raining like crazy
hnlpunk: how?
skaboy083: on the net
skaboy083: they have streaming audio
hnlpunk: yeah, it's been raining for the past two weeks.
skaboy083: wow...
skaboy083: maybe hawaii misses me
skaboy083: hey bad religion is on again
skaboy083: they sing sorrow
skaboy083: they look old
hnlpunk: they are. the singer is going bald too.
skaboy083: yeah i see it
skaboy083: they sound good though
skaboy083: hey you know what, when you send me my packages i want you to send me some stuff with it
skaboy083: a pair of rubber slippers
skaboy083: which remind me! I got you docs
hnlpunk: for real?
skaboy083: yup.
skaboy083: 8 eylets
hnlpunk: yeah!
hnlpunk: cool, thanks.
skaboy083: np
skaboy083: i'll send it when i get to go off base
hnlpunk: you got it at the base?
skaboy083: at the bx
skaboy083: base exchange
skaboy083: yeah
skaboy083: like 40 dollars
hnlpunk: that's cheap.
skaboy083: i know
hnlpunk: it's like 120 regular
hnlpunk: i pay you back
skaboy083: nah that's okay
skaboy083: least i could do
skaboy083: "...I know everything sucks yeah, i know everything sucks whoa, I know everything sucks yeah, this is gonna be the last time you hear me complain."
skaboy083: there i go singing again
hnlpunk: they kick your ass if you listen to ska.
skaboy083: no, they kick your ass if you listen to punk
hnlpunk: booo...
skaboy083: i can guarentee you dude, i'm not going to make it
skaboy083: i miss mommy
skaboy083: daddy
skaboy083: my cow
skaboy083: shit...
hnlpunk: mooo...
skaboy083: hahaha
skaboy083: when they got rid of pictures and stuff
skaboy083: i smuggled that card that dad made me
skaboy083: i keep it in my shirt pocket everyday
hnlpunk: they got rid of your pictures?
skaboy083: yeah.
hnlpunk: or are they gonna give it back
skaboy083: into the garbage can
hnlpunk: good thing you didn't take "the eric wallet".
skaboy083: you didn't tell eric did you?
hnlpunk: of course not
hnlpunk: he's feelings would have been hurt...
skaboy083: hahaha
hnlpunk: his
skaboy083: ah! you're starting to write like john!
hnlpunk: i know...
hnlpunk::"you're" brother
hnlpunk::"allot"
hnlpunk: hahah
skaboy083: hahahaha
skaboy083: ;D
skaboy083: funny
hnlpunk: i'm gonna get struck with lightning, aren't i?
skaboy083: yeah.
skaboy083: hey, i almost gotta go
skaboy083: i gotta get ready to be called a "damn jap"
skaboy083: okie dokie then bro
skaboy083: take care of yourself...
skaboy083: take care of mom and dad
hnlpunk: you too
hnlpunk: take it easy
skaboy083: okay. I'll talk to you later!
skaboy083: bye
hnlpunk: byebye.

012502
skaboy083: aloha!
hnlpunk: yo.
skaboy083: God...finally
hnlpunk: what are you doing online?
hnlpunk: i thought you were at base of something...?
skaboy083: megaman?
hnlpunk: yep.
skaboy083: i am on base, i'm in my dorm
hnlpunk: change your buddy icon too.
hnlpunk: you want megaman?
skaboy083: nah.
hnlpunk: i didn't think so.
skaboy083: i wanna skate
skaboy083: then go home
skaboy083: sit down
skaboy083: go on the net
skaboy083: then sleep on my bed
skaboy083: ...
skaboy083::-(
hnlpunk: come home then!
skaboy083: i want to so bad
hnlpunk: come tomorrow.
hnlpunk: haha.
skaboy083: i wouldn't be able to face mom or dad though
skaboy083: something interesting happened today
skaboy083: about an hour ago
skaboy083: it started to snow
skaboy083: out of the blue, it started to snow
skaboy083: it's as if God was telling me to look at the big picture
hnlpunk: which is...
skaboy083: There is a land of clear white snow, draw whatever you want on it.
skaboy083: like he wanted me to draw my new future
skaboy083: but yeah, i guess it's a true new start
skaboy083: yeah...
skaboy083: i really wanna go home
hnlpunk: how long can you be online?
skaboy083: I just clean bathrooms tommorrow so as long as i like
hnlpunk: you can do whatever on the computer?
hnlpunk: like play games and stuff?
hnlpunk: or is it just limited to the internet?
skaboy083: no games, just internet
skaboy083: i miss the sunny beaches, pretty girls, and everyone in hawai
hnlpunk: so how's your sarge?
hnlpunk: scary?
skaboy083: he's a bitch
skaboy083: here's one of his lines...
skaboy083: you better scrub faster, pussy face (because I suck at shaving)! I'd hate to see how you wipe your ass!
hnlpunk: HahahaHAHA!
hnlpunk: he's a funny guy.
hnlpunk: i'd like to meet em.
skaboy083: ugh...
skaboy083: he's an ass
skaboy083: sucks huh?
skaboy083: i want to GO HOME!
hnlpunk: even eric misses you.
hnlpunk: he almost cried after we dropped you off.
hnlpunk: i was surprised..
skaboy083: oh God...really?
hnlpunk: i know. it was pretty weird.
skaboy083: what was?
hnlpunk: eric almost crying.
hnlpunk: infront of me and johnny.
skaboy083: wow...
skaboy083: what did he say?
hnlpunk: that he's gonna miss you
hnlpunk: and that you're "one of us".
skaboy083: wow...
skaboy083: i think i'm gonna cry
skaboy083: you know, if you cry here they kick your ass?
hnlpunk: i also heard that they kick your ass if you listen to ska music...
hnlpunk: i'm funny.:)
skaboy083::-(
skaboy083: what do you think everyone would say if i went back home?
skaboy083: they'd look down on me right?
hnlpunk: not me.
hnlpunk: not eric.
hnlpunk: not john.
skaboy083: i miss everyone
hnlpunk: dad told me...
hnlpunk: he said that he misses you a lot.
hnlpunk: and that day when you left
hnlpunk: he wished that you failed the test and just came back home.
skaboy083: for some weird reason, i miss him too
skaboy083: i wish i never left
skaboy083: it's too tough for me to be alone right now
skaboy083: i'm telling you, when i get out, MOVE TO SEATTLE!
skaboy083: I kinda don't want you to come down for vacation you know
hnlpunk: why?
skaboy083: because shit, i only have to say goodbye again and that would suck so much
hnlpunk: i know, dude.
skaboy083: i hate saying goodbyes already
hnlpunk: like that time you left your palm pilot in eric's car
hnlpunk: and we were gonna drop it off
hnlpunk: i was thinking
hnlpunk: i don't wanna say goodbye for the third fucking time!
hnlpunk: but i do wanna come down the break
hnlpunk: if you're gonna be there
hnlpunk: better than not seeing at all, eh?
skaboy083: yeah
skaboy083: my goodbye really sucked
hnlpunk: which goodbye?
skaboy083: cause i had to say goodbye to mom and dad one day, go to the hotel...cry
skaboy083: then my friends and you the next day. go on the plane..cry
skaboy083: then see john, go on the plane cry...
skaboy083: it sucked so much
skaboy083: that's why, i just wanna forget everything
hnlpunk: we're all gonna come down in the spring (if you're there).
hnlpunk: if you're down here, we're still gonna go anyway.
skaboy083: yeah.
skaboy083: i hate being here
hnlpunk: i hate being alone in this room too.
hnlpunk: it's fucking depressing.
skaboy083: i have enough time and money to go home but how can i?
skaboy083: After ONE week?!
skaboy083: that's outragous!
skaboy083: But i wanna go home...
skaboy083: who ever told me that this was a good idea was full of shit
skaboy083: they wouldn't wanna be here themselves
hnlpunk: hey, it was YOUR idea..
skaboy083: i know...
skaboy083: a stupid one too.
skaboy083: i'm gonna give it a couple of more weeks
hnlpunk: ok.
skaboy083: if i can't make it then tough shit
hnlpunk: yeah.
skaboy083: otherwise if i come back...
skaboy083: i'll go to school with you
skaboy083: and we'll all go to seattle in the spring!
hnlpunk: shoots.
skaboy083: if mom and dad asks, tell them that i feel like shit
hnlpunk: i already did.
skaboy083: hehehe
skaboy083: what did they say?
hnlpunk: i told them you had to eat beef fat.
hnlpunk: mom got grossed out.
skaboy083: hehe
skaboy083: God...
skaboy083: i hate this....
skaboy083: i look like a fucking fool
skaboy083: crying in front of the computer
skaboy083: i looked at your homepage and when i saw the picture of hawaii...
skaboy083: i couldn't help but cry
skaboy083: when I looked at that picture, it reminded me of everything I have back home
skaboy083: and what i don't have here
skaboy083: you know what i was thinking?
skaboy083: you, eric, johnny, and me, if you guys want to we can all move to seattle and get a place and get one car and go to the same school and stuff
skaboy083: it's weird i miss you all more than i miss peter, alvin and simon
hnlpunk: really?
hnlpunk: i talked to them about that, you know?
hnlpunk: they're down with it.
skaboy083: what'd they say?
skaboy083: it's only like 800 dollars for a house in seattle
hnlpunk: eric's thinking, maybe 2-3 years from now...
hnlpunk: johnny, he didn't say much.
hnlpunk: but i think he down too.
hnlpunk: either you come down here.
hnlpunk: or we go down there.
hnlpunk: which ever.
skaboy083: i know...
skaboy083: i hate this.
skaboy083: you want me to tell you something funny?
hnlpunk: no.
skaboy083: no?
hnlpunk: nah. what?
skaboy083: i never thought that i would miss you but i miss you the most
skaboy083: it's like, growing up i had someone to look up to, someone to be like
skaboy083: but now, i have no one
hnlpunk: uhoh... my eyes are getting watery and shit..
skaboy083: that's why i wanna go back home
skaboy083: cause i have no one here to look up to
hnlpunk::P
skaboy083: i wanna go back because life makes more sense there
skaboy083: because i know how it is like there and also cause i have people who love me there
skaboy083: i have to go in five minutes
skaboy083: i guess i better wrap up now.
skaboy083: it's like 2:30 here
skaboy083: i have to wake up at 5:00
hnlpunk: dude...
hnlpunk: you should get some sleep.
skaboy083: oh wells, tell mom and dad i said hi and that i'll cal them 2morrow
hnlpunk: ok.
hnlpunk: byebye.
skaboy083: okay, bye
skaboy083 signed off at 10:30:28 PM.

012502
i've installed aim my computer. my log is hnlpunk, and jon is skaboy083.

feel free to message us sometime.

012102

"even if i knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, i would still plant my apple tree."

- martin luther king jr.

011902

"when the going gets tough, i know my friends will still be there."

- dropkick murphy's

john already left the island. jon had five hours in hawaii.

the three of us (jon, eric, and i) went down to ala moana's poi bowl to have lunch together—jon wanted hawaiian food before he left for the mainland. i got a kalua cabbage pork mini, but it was more like a bowl of cabbage.

after spending some time in waikiki, it was time for jon to go. we had a group hug. i got my arms around jon's neck and said, "fuck this! let's go home!"

you know what's funny? i meant it when i said it.

we're all gonna miss you.

after dropping jon off, the ride back was deathly quiet. even eric got emotional.

just to get our minds off of what's been going on, we met up with paul, mark, constantino, and norman. after debating for an hour whether or not we should hit up a house party down at waipahu, we finally agreed to go.

the people there were nice. i didn't feel awkward, even though i didn't know anyone there. people kept offering me drinks... all of which i politely turned down.

half this entry is bullshit... i'm gonna miss you, jon.

011802
today, jon's leaving for the air force. NOT ONLY THAT, john's going back to san francisco.

my parents and i dropped jon off at halekoa hotel. goodbyes were exchanged, and tears were shed. i was gonna go meet up with him later on that night so i just gave jon a playful handshake. still, i got a little sad and teary eyed.

i met up with john and eric cuz we were all supposed to go exchange goodbyes together. but i couldn't believe these guys... they were tired. and they wanted to go home. i knew eric had to work early in the morning, and john had a flight to catch, but i depended on these guys to drive me down to meet my brother. if we hadn't planned it out like that last night, maybe i would have found an alternative or something.

i compromised, and the three of us ended up leaving a voice message on jon's cell phone. after that, i said my goodbye to john, wished him luck in school, then headed home.

it hit me when i walked into the empty room. thinking that i'll never be able to see my brother for the next three months. what hit me the hardest was the fact that we didn't even get to exchange proper goodbyes... the handshake was a joke, for fucksakes!

ten minutes later, i got a call from jon. we planned meet tomorrow instead. he got his recruiter's permission to be out till 9 pm.

john, i'm gonna miss you. these past four weeks were a blast. i'm so greatful for having friends like you, eric, and johnny.

and jonathan... you're my little brother and i'm gonna miss you so much.

011702
john, jon, eric, and i went down to campus today... even though i have no classes on thursdays. but eric did, so i just showed john and jon around the school while eric was in class. we headed down to the cafe and i ate breakfast. john was drawing, and jon was on his laptop.

then we went down to ala moana. john continued his sketches there. i asked john for a piece of paper, and i did some sketches to kill time. i drew jonathan. i haven't been drawing seriously for 3 years, so i was unsure of my abilities.

ten minutes into it and i ended up writing the words "i suck" over it in frustration. and then john edited that to "i'm so good!!!"

we're stupid.

we met up again later at night. we had nothing better to do, so we went down to brian's again.

011602
eric, john, and i went down to tower video's again.

eric's into one of the girl who works there, so we end up going there nearly everyday. how strange must it be for her when she keeps seeing the same guys come back, over and over? eric finally got her phone number, though. *thumbs up*

after that, we down to brian's. john was playing one of those dumbass dance dance revolution-ish games. except this one, you have to use your arms. seeing john waving his fingers around like that was awesome.

011402
started classes today. :(

011202
went down to hanauma bay with jon and john. i guess on days like this when you're on your way to the beach, you can't help but notice what a nice day it is. nothing that my disposable fuji camera could ever capture, but a number of photographs were taken anyway.

011002 
jon hung up the phone and said, "lets go, john needs back up."

questions later—we were out the door.

now, i don't want to bore you with a long story, so i'll bore you with a short one. what basically happened is this: john writes an angry e-mail to yuka. yuka gets pissed. she threatens to bring down her friends... possibly to beat the living shit out of john.

now, i'm not the violent type, and neither are my friends. i'm sort of a pacifist, actually. but that's not to say that i wouldn't "throw down" if i had to. i'll avoid physical confrontation as much as possible, but if one of my friends ever needed back up, i'd be at their side without a second thought. and to know that my friends would do the same for me is a comforting thought.

not that i'm dumb enough to ever get myself into that kind of situation in the first place.

but i really doubted that yuka was going call some guys to beat our asses down. i mean, we're all friends... right?

then was it going to be an verbal battle? now, i find yuka to be quite an articulate person... john would have no chance. hell, he didn't even have a valid reason for being angry at her in the first place.

jon, eric, and i arrived at john's place, prepared for anything. or so we thought. none of us expected this...

we were hiding from yuka.

it got pathetic real fast.

it was freezing out. we stood in the middle of the park listening to john ask the same questions over and over again, "is that yuka? is that yuka?" johnny came down just in time to join in all the pathetic-ness that was going on.

thankfully, we found ourselves a table and i brought up the idea of going for a trip in the spring. i had seattle in mind—to meet jon there, obviously. johnny was thinking about las vegas, and just having jon meet us down there. nevertheless, we were all down for it. and in the end, we decided on seattle and a day in vancouver, canada. i'm pretty excited.

after wasting a few hours, we drove around waikiki. jon mentioned a pickup line. it went: "you must be from tennessee, because you're the only ten i see!"

"that's pretty lame," i said.

eric poked his head out the window and yelled, "you must be from tennessee, because you're the only ten i see!"

the only thing was that the two girls looked japanese. i get the feeling that they're probably not from tennessee.

010102
it was such a nice day. great day to get out of the city and head down to the beach. and that's what we—john, jon, eric, and i—did today. our main reason for going down to the north shore was to grab some matsumoto shave ice, but the place was closed. new year's day. figures.

we drove down to sunset beach. the first thing we noticed when we got there was the topless lady lying underneath the palm trees. i'm sorry, i couldn't help but stare... i mean, it's not everyday i get to see nekkid boobies.:)

ANYWAY... john boogyboarded for awhile. i was busy taking photographs. eric got sick so we headed back early.

i loved today. it was so nice being outdoors for a change.