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"uncomfortable silences. why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? that's when you know you've found somebody special. when you can just shut the fuck up for a minute, and comfortably share silence."

- pulp fiction

i called in sick for work and stayed in bed instead. this was the third time i've called in sick this month alone. i need to stop doing this.

i got a phone call from maria today. it was totally unexpected and, at first, i thought someone—namely eric—was playing a joke on me. maria and i have met only once before, and even then, we barely spoke to each other, or even acknowledged each other's presence, for that matter.

even weirder, she started getting into one of those dreaded "get-to-know-each-other chitchat" with me. despite having just woken up—and, therefore, not fully conscious—i managed to have a decent talk with her (well, at least by my standards), and avoid the uncomfortable silence that seems to be a reoccurring trend in these sort of conversations.

i have been informed that she had broken up with her boyfriend.

if i'm going to fuck this one up (like i always do), i hope i do it soon. i don't have the fucking time, nor the fucking energy, to go through bullshit... again.

anyway, we were supposed to go hangout with eric, johnny, trisha, and janelle. i didn't want to go—being sick and all—but somehow, eric convinced me to come out.

dumb, brah, i didn't even realize that today was halloween. or that today was a friday. i'm really out of it.

i immediately regretted not having my camera with me because eric and trish were dressed up in their costumes—a monkey and a dead bride, respectively—and then when i saw a huge group of christians holding up anti-halloween protest signs (christians telling other people how they should live their lives. so what else is new?) at waikiki (which was, by the way, really crowded), it only served to confirm that regret.

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an article from this week's honolulu weekly:

president george w. bush's oct. 23 visit to the hilton hawaiian village brought out at least 1,200 protesters, supporters and the requisite gawkers—and lots of security. a policeman told a friend of mine not to wear her hat with a "BUllSHit" sticker on it, when walking through the fort derussy parking lot. "you can't protest on federal property," the burly cop said. the authorities are so jokeless at times like these. a friend witnessed a bored-looking officer videotaping the crowd. an old woman pointed out police snipers on rooftops. meanwhile, i saw friends playing music, beating life into pots and pans. i was curious about the red, white and blue folks quietly hoding their breath on an opposing corner, so i walked over into a sea of u.s. flags and slogans about god. one sign said, "we want to be barney for a day." a contingent of shouting junior high schoolers stood out. i asked one of them who had organized their little display. she explained that it was her teacher, who was wrapped in the american flag. he came over and told me to step away from his students. i didn't. instead, i asked the students if they knew that bush's wars in iraq and afghanistan have killed children, children just like themselves. they looked confused and didn't know how to respond—except for one tall boy who asked me, "what about his nukes?" i told him that saddam didn't have any nukes. "yes he does," the boy said. the teacher, getting flustered, told me that if i wanted to have a discussion, then he and i could step away from the children. "or else i'm calling the cops," he said. i looked at him, this "educator" from st. mark lutheran in kāne'ohe, who does not want children to hear the truth. how like the president, i thought, and moved on.

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"life is beautiful. let future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- leon trotsky

world protest 10/25:















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"in the greatest house in the greatest land, the village idiot shall take command."

- nostradamus

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from honolulu weekly:

president george w. bush attends a republican party fundraiser at the hilton hawaiian village this thursday, oct. 23, giving locals an opportunity to throw him a raucous "greeting party." protesters of all stripes will gather outside the hotel beginning at 4:30 p.m.

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i need to learn to fucking update. :\