073008


072208
posted above the urinals in the restroom at work:



072008

"thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. i long to observe such a thing. and yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. to distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. the thermodynamic miracle. but the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... i forget. we gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away."

- watchmen

071908
heatery #8:




071808
a promotional video produced by the korea tourism organization, which, i must say, captures the beauty of south korea perfectly:


071708
from chosun ilbo's "60 years of the republic":

on the morning of may 16, 1961, maj. gen. park chung-hee made his presence known to the press for the first time as he stood in front of the seoul city hall. the photograph taken on the occasion, in which he is seen wearing dark glasses and holding his hands behind his back, has become the symbol of the military coup he staged on that day. listening to the radio in the early morning, koreans realized that the world had changed overnight. the radio blared out, "the military, which had been prudent and patient, took action at dawn this morning. it has taken complete control of the three powers of government, executive, legislative and judicial, and launched a military revolutionary committee." the statement was issued in the name of army chief of staff chang do-young, but he had not written it. it was park chung-hee himself who, having initiated discussion of the coup before the april 19, 1960 student movement, proofread and gave the final touches to the statement drafted by kim jong-pil. and it was park who mobilized soldiers and sent them into the center of seoul on may 16. there was no bloodshed. despite the overpowering atmosphere of censorship, the chosun ilbo's evening edition on may 16, 1961 and its morning edition the following day described the event as a "military coup." it certainly was, considering that a small group of officers illegally overthrew a government that had been established in accordance with constitutional procedures. curiously, however, the people did not show any particular opposition to the coup at the time. even the leftwing magazine "the world of thought" expressed considerable expectations of the "revolution."

071608
thanks to me constantly loitering around the keelikolani building, i've run into just about all my former co-workers now—bong, carol, chad, charlene, cindy, estrelle, jason, jerry, karen, kim, noreen, rex, rose, val... it was really great seeming everyone. it feels like i've left, but at the same time, not really. :)

071608
heatery #7:



071508

"maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do. the things you don't finish."

- chuck palahniuk

i ran into noreen during lunch today—which was inevitable, i suppose. i haven't seen her since i've left dotax, which has been about two weeks now, and i can say with honesty that i've been wanting to see her ever since.

we're walking in opposite directions, and as we get closer and closer to one another, i want so bad to summon the courage to say something to her.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.

it's all my fault.

i've been a jerk.

i miss you.

i never wanted to lose you as a friend.

i want us to be friends again.

but back to the old routine again, which i thought that i had left behind when i transfered to d.a.g.: we walk past one another without a word.

the feeling of my heart crushing must have affected my hearing because i hear a voice, which i think belongs to noreen, calling out, what sounds to be, my name—or at least that's what i hoped so bad.

i look at back at her, and i see her in the distance, looking back in my direction. she says something, but i can't make it out. i want so fucking bad to wave at her or smile at her or something—anything but this silly game which has gotten tiresome—but since i'm not certain that she was speaking to me or someone else in my direction, or looking at me or someone else in my direction, and not wanting myself to look stupid in front of her, if that's the case, i look away. if she really was attempting to speak to me, which seems so irrational because we haven't spoken to each other in almost half a year, i probably made her feel stupid, instead, and it's unlikely that she'll attempt it again.

regardless, it was good to see her—even if that's all it was. she's more beautiful than ever. i hope she's doing okay.

we can't keep doing this.

i miss our friendship.

071508
i ran into the big boss, mike, today.

he askes me, "are you liking the job?"

"yes, very much so, sir," i reply.

"even more than tax?"

i smile as i answer, "i love them both, equally."

i wasn't about to bring down the tax department, not even for the supervising deputy attorney general.

071408
i finally found out how to write my name in hanja.



would it be really egotistical of me if i got this tattooed?

071408
gangsta.

071008

"it was true that i didn't have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, i mean a better place than the one usually reserved. how in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"

- charles bukowski

i've been really busy lately.

seventy-six hour workweeks are no fucking fun.

but i know that it's not always going to be like this, so i'm trying to hold on.

lately, i've been getting a lot of calls from various departments in the state, calling to say that they'd like to schedule an interview with me (this was for an application i've put in while i was still waiting for the department of the attorney general—which, henceforth, will simply be refered to as "d.a.g."—to tell me that i can start work with them). of course, i've been turning all of them down, considering that i've just started work with d.a.g. on monday, and i'm not looking to transfer to another department anytime soon—if ever. in fact, i've been hoping that one of them would just take me off "the list."

today, though, i got a call from the department of health... THE BIOTERRORISM DIVISION.

if i didn't have a job already, i'd so be on that shit.

070408
happy independence day.


070208
i don't start work with the department of the attorney general until monday, so i have six days off. one would think that i would enjoy my days off, but so far this has been unbearable. i never thought i would ever say this, but... i WANT to work. i can't stand doing fuck all.

spoke with susan on the phone and kyle through email. i was really glad to hear from them. i know it's only been a day since i've left but i miss my co-workers and my job so much.

today was john's last day in hawaii, so johnny and i saw him off at the airport. yesterday, the three of us, plus jon, spent nearly whole day together, jumping from one place to the next.